As I get older, I find myself at funerals way too often. A week ago, I said farewell to a dear friend who had gracefully reached the remarkable age of 96, still managing to outperform me in the garden. Over a cup of tea, a young plumber called Dave* confided in me he was having trouble with an older staff member who wouldn’t follow instructions. Jim* had taken it upon himself to skip the early morning Toolbox meetings, claiming he had "heard it all before!" Jim was the team's eldest member. When I asked Dave why he thought Jim was being difficult, he thought it was generational – Jim being so much older than Dave and Jim not liking having to defer to a younger man. It's been my experience that people may struggle with taking instruction for various reasons, for example:
We talked about the need to communicate instructions clearly and think about the different learning styles of his staff e.g., the younger people took notes on their phones (Dave always thought they were texting!), and another member scribbled on some cardboard. Were there any distractions, noises, etc. where he held the meetings? If there was any doubt, Dave could always ask his team to summarise the Health & Safety details and the jobs they were allocated. He would then know what information was being retained. I then suggested Dave have a conversation with Jim to find out what troubling him. Dave rang me last week to tell me Jim had been diagnosed with severe hearing loss and was too embarrassed to tell Dave that he couldn’t afford the hearing aids. Being difficult was better than being vulnerable or seen as a weak link on the team. Jim was worried he would be replaced with a younger person.
*Names have been changed.